(Those usages people keep telling you are wrong but which are actually standard in English.)
Split infinitives
For the hyper-critical, “to boldly go where no man has gone before” should be “to go boldly. . . .” It is good to be aware that inserting one or more words between “to” and a verb is not strictly speaking an error, and is often more expressive and graceful than moving the intervening words elsewhere; but so many people are offended by split infinitives that it is better to avoid them except when the alternatives sound strained and awkward.
Ending a sentence with a preposition
A fine example of an artificial “rule” which ignores standard usage. The famous witticism usually attributed to Winston Churchill makes the point well: “This is the sort of English up with which I will not put.” see The American Heritage Book of English Usage. Jack Lynch has some sensible comments on this issue. If you think you know the original version of this saying, click here.
Beginning a sentence with a conjunction
It offends those who wish to confine English usage in a logical straitjacket that writers often begin sentences with “and” or “but.” True, one should be aware that many such sentences would be improved by becoming clauses in compound sentences; but there are many effective and traditional uses for beginning sentences thus. One example is the reply to a previous assertion in a dialogue: “But, my dear Watson, the criminal obviously wore expensive boots or he would not have taken such pains to scrape them clean.” Make it a rule to consider whether your conjunction would repose more naturally within the previous sentence or would lose in useful emphasis by being demoted from its position at the head of a new sentence.
Using “between” for only two, “among” for more
The “-tween” in “between” is clearly linked to the number two; but, as the Oxford English Dictionary notes, “In all senses, between has, from its earliest appearance, been extended to more than two.” We’re talking about Anglo-Saxon here—early. Pedants have labored to enforce “among” when there are three or more objects under discussion, but largely in vain. Even the pickiest speaker does not naturally say, “A treaty has been negotiated among England, France, and Germany.”
Over vs. more than.
Some people claim that “over” cannot be used to signify “more than,” as in “Over a thousand baton-twirlers marched in the parade.” “Over,” they insist, always refers to something physically higher: say, the blimp hovering over the parade route. This absurd distinction ignores the role metaphor plays in language. If I write 1 on the blackboard and 10 beside it, 10 is still the “higher” number. “Over” has been used in the sense of “more than” for over a thousand years.
Gender vs. sex
Feminists eager to remove references to sexuality from discussions of females and males not involving mating or reproduction revived an older meaning of “gender,” which had come to refer in modern times chiefly to language, as a synonym for “sex” in phrases such as “Our goal is to achieve gender equality.” Americans, always nervous about sex, eagerly embraced this usage, which is now standard. In some scholarly fields, “sex” is now used to label biologically determined aspects of maleness and femaleness (reproduction, etc.) while “gender” refers to their socially determined aspects (behavior, attitudes, etc.); but in ordinary speech this distinction is not always maintained. It is disingenuous to pretend that people who use “gender” in the new senses are making an error, just as it is disingenuous to maintain that “Ms.” means “manuscript” (that’s “MS”). Nevertheless, I must admit I was startled to discover that the tag on my new trousers describes not only their size and color, but their “gender.”
Using “who” for people, “that” for animals and inanimate objects
In fact there are many instances in which the most conservative usage is to refer to a person using “that”: “All the politicians that were at the party later denied even knowing the host” is actually somewhat more traditional than the more popular “politicians who.” An aversion to “that” referring to human beings as somehow diminishing their humanity may be praiseworthily sensitive, but it cannot claim the authority of tradition. In some sentences, “that” is clearly preferable to “who”: “She is the only person I know of that prefers whipped cream on her granola.” In the following example, to exchange “that” for “who” would be absurd: “Who was it that said, ‘A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle’?”*
*Commonly attributed to Gloria Steinem, but she attributes it to Irina Dunn.
“Since” cannot mean “because.”
“Since” need not always refer to time. Since the 14th century, when it was often spelled “syn,” it has also meant “seeing that” or “because.”
Hopefully
This word has meant “it is to be hoped” for a very long time, and those who insist it can only mean “in a hopeful fashion” display more hopefulness than realism.
Momentarily
“The plane will be landing momentarily” says the flight attendant, and the grumpy grammarian in seat 36B thinks to himself, “So we’re going to touch down for just a moment?” Everyone else thinks, “Just a moment now before we land.” Back in the 1920s when this use of “momentarily” was first spreading on both sides of the Atlantic, one might have been accused of misusing the word; but by now it’s listed without comment as one of the standard definitions in most dictionaries.
Lend vs. loan
“Loan me your hat” was just as correct everywhere as “lend me your ears” until the British made “lend” the preferred verb, relegating “loan” to the thing being lent. However, as in so many cases, Americans kept the older pattern, which in its turn has influenced modern British usage so that those insisting that “loan” can only be a noun are in the minority.
Regime vs. regimen
Some people insist that “regime” should be used only in reference to governments, and that people who say they are following a dietary regime should instead use “regimen”; but “regime” has been a synonym of “regimen” for over a century, and is widely accepted in that sense.
Near miss
It is futile to protest that “near miss” should be “near collision.” This expression is a condensed version of something like “a miss that came very near to being a collision” and is similar to “narrow escape.” Everyone knows what is meant by it and almost everyone uses it. It should be noted that the expression can also be used in the sense of almost succeeding in striking a desired target: “His Cointreau soufflé was a near miss.”
“None” singular vs. plural
Some people insist that since “none” is derived from “no one” it should always be singular: “none of us is having dessert.” However, in standard usage, the word is most often treated as a plural. “None of us are having dessert” will do just fine.
Scan vs. skim
Those who insist that “scan” can never be a synonym of “skim” have lost the battle. It is true that the word originally meant “to scrutinize,” but it has now evolved into one of those unfortunate words with two opposite meanings: to examine closely (now rare) and to glance at quickly (much more common). It would be difficult to say which of these two meanings is more prominent in the computer-related usage, to “scan a document.”
Off of
For most Americans, the natural thing to say is “Climb down off of [pronounced “offa”] that horse, Tex, with your hands in the air”; but many U.K. authorities urge that the “of” should be omitted as redundant. Where British English reigns you may want to omit the “of” as superfluous, but common usage in the U.S. has rendered “off of” so standard as to generally pass unnoticed, though some American authorities also discourage it in formal writing. But if “onto” makes sense, so does “off of.” However, “off of” meaning “from” in phrases like “borrow five dollars off of Clarice” is definitely nonstandard.
“Gotten” vs. “got.”
In England, the old past participle “gotten” dropped out of use except in such stock phrases as “ill-gotten” and “gotten up,” but in the U.S. it is still considered interchangeable with “got” as the past participle of “get.”
Till vs. ’til.
Since it looks like an abbreviation for “until,” some people argue that this word should always be spelled “’til” (though not all insist on the apostrophe). However, “till” has regularly occurred as a spelling of this word for over 800 years and it’s actually older than “until.” It is perfectly good English.
Teenage vs. teenaged.
Some people object that the word should be “teenaged,” but unlike the still nonstandard “ice tea” and “stain glass,” “teenage” is almost universally accepted now.
Don’t use “reference” to mean “cite.”
Nouns are often turned into verbs in English, and “reference” in the sense “to provide references or citations” has become so widespread that it’s generally acceptable, though some teachers and editors still object.
Feeling bad
“I feel bad” is standard English, as in “This t-shirt smells bad” (not “badly”). “I feel badly” is an incorrect hyper-correction by people who think they know better than the masses. People who are happy can correctly say they feel good, but if they say they feel well, we know they mean to say they’re healthy.
Unquote vs. endquote
Some people get upset at the common pattern by which speakers frame a quotation by saying “quote . . . unquote,” insisting that the latter word should logically be “endquote”; but illogical as it may be, “unquote” has been used in this way for about a century, and “endquote” is nonstandard.
Persuade vs. convince
Some people like to distinguish between these two words by insisting that you persuade people until you have convinced them; but “persuade” as a synonym for “convince” goes back at least to the 16th century. It can mean both to attempt to convince and to succeed. It is no longer common to say things like “I am persuaded that you are an illiterate fool,” but even this usage is not in itself wrong.
Normalcy vs. normality
The word “normalcy” had been around for more than half a century when President Warren G. Harding was assailed in the newspapers for having used it in a 1921 speech. Some folks are still upset; but in the U.S. “normalcy” is a perfectly normal—if uncommon—synonym for “normality.”
Aggravate vs. irritate
Some people claim that “aggravate” can only mean “make worse” and should not be used to mean “irritate”; but the latter has been a valid use of the word for four centuries, and “aggravation” means almost exclusively “irritation.”
You shouldn’t pronounce the “e” in “not my forte.”
Some people insist that it’s an error to pronounce the word “forte” in the expression “not my forte” as if French-derived “forte” were the same as the Italian musical term for “loud”: “for-tay.” But the original French expression is pas mon fort, which not only has no “e” on the end to pronounce—it has a silent “t” as well. It’s too bad that when we imported this phrase we mangled it so badly, but it’s too late to do anything about it now. If you go around saying what sounds like ”that’s not my fort,” people won’t understand what you mean.
However, those who use the phrase to mean “not to my taste” (“Wagnerian opera is not my forte”) are definitely mistaken. Your forte is what you’re good at, not just stuff you like.
“Preventive” is the adjective, “preventative” the noun.
I must say I like the sound of this distinction, but in fact the two are interchangeable as both nouns and adjective, though many prefer “preventive” as being shorter and simpler. “Preventative” used as an adjective dates back to the 17th century, as does “preventive” as a noun.
People should say a book is titled such-and-such rather than entitled.
No less a writer than Chaucer is cited by the Oxford English Dictionary as having used “entitled” in this sense, the very first meaning of the word listed by the OED. It may be a touch pretentious, but it’s not wrong.
People are healthy; vegetables are healthful.
Logic and tradition are on the side of those who make this distinction, but I’m afraid phrases like “part of a healthy breakfast” have become so widespread that they are rarely perceived as erroneous except by the hyper-correct. On a related though slightly different subject, it is interesting to note that in English adjectives connected to sensations in the perceiver of an object or event are often transferred to the object or event itself. In the 19th century it was not uncommon to refer, for instance, to a “grateful shower of rain,” and we still say “a gloomy landscape,” “a cheerful sight” and “a happy coincidence.”
Female vs. woman
Some people argue that since we say—for instance—“male doctor” we should always say “female doctor” rather than “woman doctor.” It may be inconsistent, but the pattern of referring to females as women performers, professionals, etc. is very traditional, dating back at least to the 14th century. People who do this cannot be accused of committing an error.
Dinner is done; people are finished.
I pronounce this an antiquated distinction rarely observed in modern speech. Nobody really supposes the speaker is saying he or she has been roasted to a turn. In older usage people said, “I have done” to indicate they had completed an action. “I am done” is not really so very different.
Crops are raised; children are reared.
Old-fashioned writers insist that you raise crops and rear children; but in modern American English children are usually “raised.”
“You’ve got mail” should be “you have mail.”
The “have” contracted in phrases like this is merely an auxiliary verb, not an expression of possession. It is not a redundancy. Compare: “You’ve sent the mail.”
It’s “cut the muster,” not “cut the mustard.”
This etymology seems plausible at first. Its proponents often trace it to the American Civil War. We do have the analogous expression “to pass muster,” which probably first suggested this alternative; but although the origins of “cut the mustard” are somewhat obscure, the latter is definitely the form used in all sorts of writing throughout the twentieth century. Common sense would suggest that a person cutting a muster is not someone being selected as fit, but someone eliminating the unfit. See the alt.usage.english faq explanation of this term.
It’s “carrot on a stick,” not “carrot or stick.”
Authoritative dictionaries agree, the original expression refers to offering to reward a stubborn mule or donkey with a carrot or threatening to beat it with a stick and not to a carrot being dangled from a stick. Further discussion. This and other popular etymologies fit under the heading aptly called by the English “too clever by half."
“Spitting image” should be “spit and image.”
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the earlier form was “spitten image,” which may indeed have evolved from “spit and image.” It’s a crude figure of speech: someone else is enough like you to have been spat out by you, made of the very stuff of your body. In the early 20th century the spelling and pronunciation gradually shifted to the less logical “spitting image,” which is now standard. It’s too late to go back. There is no historical basis for the claim sometimes made that the original expression was “spirit and image.”
“Lion’s share” means all of something, not the larger part of something.
Even though the original meaning of this phrase reflected the idea that the lion can take whatever he wants—typically all of the slaughtered game, leaving nothing for anyone else—in modern usage the meaning has shifted to “the largest share.” This makes great sense if you consider the way hyenas and vultures swarm over the leftovers from a typical lion’s kill.
“Connoisseur” should be spelled “connaisseur.”
When we borrowed this word from the French in the 18th century, it was spelled “connoisseur.” Is it our fault the French later decided to shift the spelling of many OI words to the more phonetically accurate AI? Of those Francophone purists who insist we should follow their example I say, let ’em eat bifteck.
Talking idioms
Talk
talk nineteen to the dozen = talk fast: "She was so excited that she was talking nineteen to the dozen."
talk the hind legs off a donkey = talk without stopping: "She can talk the hind legs off a donkey!"
talk something through / over = to discuss something: "Before we decide anything, I think we ought to talk it through."
talk something up = to make something appear more important: "She really talked the idea up, but I don't think that everyone was convinced."
talk someone into doing = to persuade someone: "He talked her into buying a new car."
talk someone through something = give step-by-step instructions: "She talked him through the procedure."
talk down to = talk in a condescending way: "Don't talk down to me! I understand you perfectly well."
talk back = respond to someone in authority in a rude way: "Don't talk back to your mother!"
This is similar to back chat: "I don't want any back chat from you!"
talk under your breath = talk quietly so that nobody can hear you: "They talked under their breath in the meeting."
talk rubbish = not to speak logically: "He talks complete rubbish sometimes!"
Also talk though your arse (British slang and quite rude): "You're talking through your arse again. You know nothing about it!"
talk at cross purposes = when two people don't understand each other because they are talking about two different things (but don't realise it): "We're talking at cross purposes here."
talk / speak with a plum in your mouth = talk with a posh (=upper class) accent: "She talks with a plum in her mouth!"
talk around the subject = not get to the point: "He didn't want to say they were in danger of losing their jobs, so he talked around the subject for half an hour."
talk highly of someone = praise someone: "He talks very highly of you!"
to give someone a talking-to = when you talk to someone because you are angry with them: "His boss gave him a real talking-to yesterday!"
talk to yourself = to speak to yourself, maybe because you are concentrating on something: "Are you talking to yourself again?"
to be like talking to a brick wall = to not have any effect on someone: "Sometimes talking to him is like talking to a brick wall!"
talk your way out of something = get out of a difficult situation by giving a clever explanation: "Whew! I think I managed to talk our way out of that one!"
straight talking = honest words: "I want some straight talking around here!"
talk shop = talk about work in a social situation: "Whenever I go out with my colleagues, we always end up talking shop."
Chat
to chat someone up = to talk to someone because you are attracted to them: "He went to a party and chatted up every woman."
a chatterbox = someone who talks a lot, but not saying anything important: "She's a bit of a chatterbox at work."
chit-chat = social conversation about unimportant subjects: "Enough of the chit-chat! I have to get on with some work."
Word
to have a word with someone = to talk to someone about something you are not happy with: "I'm going to have a word with him about his kids' behaviour."
to not have a good word to say about someone = to always criticise: "She never has a good word to say about the Browns."
a word in your ear = something you say before you give some advice or a warning: "A word in your ear - the company are monitoring internet use."
to not mince your words = say something directly, without trying to be diplomatic: "She doesn't mince her words!"
to have words = to have an argument: "They've had words and now they're not speaking."
to get a word in edgeways = to try to contribute to a conversation: "They were talking so fast it was impossible to get a word in edgeways!"
Planning a holiday
Many people take their main holiday in summer, and although some people choose a last-minute break, others plan their holiday months in advance.
The beginning of the year is a good time for people to start looking at holiday brochures. Tour operators (companies that organise holidays) as well as travel agents (the people that sell holidays) give lots of information about holiday destinations and types of holiday. Apart from the traditional two-week beach holiday, you can choose from a range of holidays: a cruise (holiday on a ship), an activity holiday (a holiday that involves walking, cycling, climbing or other sports), a city break (a weekend or a few days in a different city) and so on. A lot of people choose a package holiday, where flights and accommodation are included in the price. But many people prefer an independent holiday, where they make their own travel arrangements.
If you travel independently, you will need to book your flights or train tickets. Unless you have an onward destination, you will probably book a return journey. Then you will need to make a reservation at a hotel, or another place to stay, such as a campsite (if you are camping in a tent), or a caravan site (if you are staying in a caravan), or a B&B (a bed and breakfast).
For all types of foreign holidays, it is essential that you check you have all your travel documents. Make sure your passport hasn’t expired, and that you have a visa if necessary. If you are travelling to some countries, you also need to make sure that all your vaccinations (protection against illness) are up to date. For some countries you might need a vaccination against hepatitis, or yellow fever, for example.
As your departure date gets nearer, you can start to plan the details of your journey. Perhaps it will be a good idea to buy a guide book, or a phrase book, if you don’t speak much of the local language. Some people like to read up on (= get lots of background information) on where they are going, and find out about the places of interest and “must-see” sights. It’s also fun to make a packing list, so you don’t forget any vital clothes or toiletries.
It’s also a good idea to buy local currency in advance, if your flight gets in (= arrives) in the middle of the night, when no banks are open. Most airlines also advise you to take out (=get) travel insurance – just in case your flight is delayed or cancelled, or if you get ill and need to be repatriated (sent back to your country).
Don’t forget to make arrangements for your pets and your house while you’re away. Put your dog into kennels (a dog hotel), and leave a key with your neighbour – just in case! Hopefully your neighbour will keep an eye on your house while you’re on holiday! Finally, get to the airport with plenty of time to spare. Nowadays it can take much longer to get through security and onto the plane. Have a nice trip and send your neighbour a postcard.
Talking about your family
English Vocabulary for talking about your family.
Your family tree
Your closest relatives are your parents: your mother and father; and your siblings (brothers or sisters). If your mother or father is not an only child, you also have aunts and / or uncles. An aunt is the sister of your mother or father, while an uncle is the brother of your mother or father. Your female child is called your b>daughter, and your male child is your son.
If your aunts or uncles have children, they are your first cousins. (In English, the word cousin is used, whether the cousin is female or male.) Your female cousin is your mother (or father's) niece, while a male cousin is the nephew of your mother and father.
In-laws
When you marry, your husband (or wife's) family become your in-laws. The mother of your spouse (husband or wife) is your mother-in-law and his or her father becomes your father-in-law. The term in-law is also used to describe your relationship with the spouses of your siblings. So the husband of your sister becomes your brother-in-law, while the sister of your husband becomes your sister-in-law. If you are a woman, you become the daughter-in-law of your husband's parents, and if you are a man, you become the son-in-law of your wife's parents. The same term in-law is used for all generations. The husband of your aunt is still your mother's brother-in-law, for example.
Grandparents / grandchildren
The parents of your parents are your grandparents - grandmother and grandfather. You are their grandchildren - either a granddaughter or a grandson. If your grandparent has a sister, she is your great-aunt. If your grandparent has a brother, he is your great-uncle. (And you are either his or her great-niece or great-nephew.)
The mother of your grandmother or grandfather is your great-grandmother. The father is your great-grandfather. If you go back another generation, the grandmother of your grandmother / grandfather is your great-great-grandmother. The grandfather of your grandparent becomes your great-great-grandfather.
Second families
If your mother or father remarries, you can acquire a new family and set of relatives. For example, if your father marries a second wife, she becomes your step-mother. Any children she already has become your step-sisters or step-brothers.
If your mother or father remarries and has children, they become your half-brothers or half-sisters.
You might also hear people talking about their biological brother / sister etc, to mean a brother who is related by blood, rather than by marriage.
Types of family
nuclear family = mother, father and children: "The traditional British family unit is a nuclear family."
single-parent / one-parent family = a family which only has one parent (because the parents are divorced, or because one of the parents has died): "There are more and more single-parent families in the UK."
immediate family = your closest relatives: "Only immediate family members attended the funeral."
extended family = your entire family: "The wedding invitations were sent to the entire extended family."
close-knit family = a family where the members have close relationships with each other: "They are a close-knit family."
dysfunctional family = a family where the members have serious problems with each other: "He comes from a rather dysfunctional family."
blood relative = a relative connected to you by "blood" rather than through marriage: "She's not a blood relative, but we're still very close."
Expressions with family
family gathering = a meeting / celebration of family members: "There's a small family gathering next week."
family resemblance = where members of the family look / act similar: "You can see a distinct family resemblance between the father and the son."
to start a family = to start having children: "They want to wait a couple of years before starting a family."
to run in the family = a characteristic that is common among family members: "Baldness runs in his family."
to bring up / raise a family = to have and look after children: "It's difficult to raise a family on one income."
a family car = a car big enough to transport a family: "The Volvo Estate is a popular family car."
family-size = large quantity item: "We need to buy family-size packets of biscuits!"
family-friendly = a policy that favours families: "This hotel is family-friendly."
family doctor = a doctor who looks after general medical needs: "There are a number of good family doctors in this area."
family man = a man who prefers to spend his time with his family: "John is a family man."
family values = traditional ideas about what a family should be: "Some political parties often emphasise family values and the importance of marriage."
family name = surname: "What's your family name?"
Describing family relationships
Children often quarrel with each other, and these arguments - or squabbles - are often quickly resolved. In fact, sibling rivalry (the competition between brothers and sisters) is quite common.
More seriously, if arguments continue into adulthood, family feuds can develop where both sides can end up hating each other and even trying to hurt or destroy each other.
A person who no longer speaks to a family member is estranged from his / her family. Often estrangement is voluntary. However, if parents decide they no longer want anything to do with their children, they cut them off (= break off communiation), or even disinherit them. (Decide not to leave them anything when they die.)
Most people feel loyalty to their family, and will defend family members saying "He / She's family". There's also a saying "Blood's thicker than water" which means that your family ties are stronger than any other relationships.